Tuesday 31 March 2009

Something intersting happened on Facebook

My brother's friend Tom posted something and prompted a discussion- he's prone to exaggerate (apparently), I have an ego approximately the size of a house and it was about legislation and the BBC. For fairness at this point I should point out I did write my dissertation at university on the subject of television and permissiveness in the 1960s, so I have read some books on the subject.

Anyway here's the link. If you're not a friend here is what happened:

Tom Cole Rowan Williams, the BBC might well be funded by the licence fee but that doesn't mean it has to broadcast more material for Christians. I pay the licence fee too, yet I don't get upset about Auntie's lack of full-bore smut, visceral horror and Cheech and Chong marathons. Don't I count, Rowan?!

Simon Gardiner at 11:51 on 30 March
points ou that public service broadcasting is what the license fee is for.....

"Ofcom's phase one review of public service broadcasting states that religious programming is "generally considered to be core PSB territory".[51] Section 264(6) of the Communications Act 2003 requires that public service television broadcasting in the United Kingdom must include services of a suitable quality and range dealing with a number of subjects including "religion and other beliefs". For the purposes of the Act a belief is defined as "a collective belief in, or other adherence to, a systemised set of ethical or philosophical principles or of mystical or transcendental doctrines" (section 264(13)). Therefore broadcasting covering religion and other beliefs is part of the remit of all public service channels."

http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/ld200506/ldselect/ldbbc/128/12811.htm

The logical conclusion to this is to say this, sorry Tom you don't count. Its called public service broadcasting not Tom Cole service broadcasting- that's what the internet is for.

Rowan Williams is appointed to represent the views of a relatively large people, and he has a pretty strong case that the BBC is not living up to its charter on this one.

The BBC has gutted its religious programmes commissioning department and reduced the quantity of religious programming on the World Service. Reducing religious output (especially Christian) on the World Service is particularly serious as most religious broadcasting verges on the insane.

Also he deserves a break- he wasn't one of the nutcases protesting about Jerry Springer the opera.

Tom Cole at 14:11 on 30 March
Heh heh. 'Tom Cole service broadcasting' sounds brilliant...!

No, in all seriousness, I take your point that anything made by the BBC isn't likely to be the sort of ludicrous puff-pastry that passes for telly on God Europe (actually, did you know that when the God Channel first launched there was The God Channel and God 2, which is pretty bizarre for a monotheistic religion, eh?). And, again, point taken that Williams isn't too objectionable (on the whole, even though I think he's intellectually dishonest for the sake of preserving the status quo).

My problem here is with certain sectors of the populace assuming they've got a right to legislate BBC output purely on the basis of the licence fee. As I say, I pay the fucker too and see nothing which represents me or my interests (well, some of BBC4's output, granted...). I may not be definable, but I'll tell you this: if you took a straw poll of the populace and offered them the chance to see Songs of Praise Part II: Return of the Lord or Jenna and Friends go Wild in Estonia, the former would be stripped from the schedules before you could say 'Tiswas'. Christians may make up a proportion of the populace, but so do philosophy-loving slackers...

I mean, who the hell is BBC3 aimed at?!

But anyhow, my attitude's probably explicable by the following: I don't believe in the licence fee. Like all forms of democracy, it doesn't work. And leaves us with Strictly Come Dancing. UGH!


Tom Cole at 22:09 on 30 March
Also, 'collective belief'?! Man, Christianity is a 'collective belief' of the country on the statute books only... I'm not denigrating, I'm just saying so.

Mind, this makes me wonder. If all it takes to enact change is a publicly-recognised presence, I wonder if banding together all other cynical Gen X types and calling ourselves Transcendental Slackitators would wok? No? OK then...

He got one in there without me even getting a chance to reply!!

Simon Gardiner at 22:30 on 30 March
Well we can all get on board with BBC3 bashing.

I don't think the license fee has anything to do with democracy, the whole point of it is to insulate us from it.

If you wanted to make a case against the license fee (I should come out as 100% in favour), I would say that the BBC should be made to dump all local radio and a whole heap of digital radio stations (probably all of the extra ones). BBC3 and BBC4 should be scrapped and their good content used to back fill for the shite on BBC1 and 2 these days....

Ban cross promotion- sell off its other media outlets (sorry radio times boy), I think the magazines and the publishing is quite difficult to justify too.

Also I don't think you're being very fair- no-one is suggesting Songs of Praise II- (that's alot of dashes) but rebroadcasting 'thought for the day' perhaps with a panel discussion afterwards for half an hour per week on the World Service wouldn't do anyone any harm.

And they should not be able to count the Heaven and Earth show as religious programming. Its like this morning for dunderheads.

They could make a programme where philosophers and theologians discuss the implications of the ideas in Richard Dawkins' books. There's the possibility to make an interesting programme about cross denominational and cross-religious debate. I wouldn't watch it but provided it was made properly I don't see any reason why it shouldn't fulfill everyone's criteria of what PSB should be.

Anyway just two ideas which I think shouldn't be beyond the realms of possibility but I don't think the BBC is interested enough in making serious programming.

For the record its a slightly odd way to make the argument against the pap on tv to argue in favour of broadcasting pornography and slasher movies. I can't believe I'm writing this but I'd rather watch Songs of Praise.

Tom Cole at 14:01 on 31 MarchI'm being deliberately OTT (ask Ed - if I can, I'll always exaggerate).

Actually the BBC already has a show like the panel show idea you mentioned. It's called The Big Questions, it's broadcast on Sunday mornings and it's a pile of wank. I wrote a blog about it on Pessismystic a little while ago which was so vitriolic it caused a relationship to end. So, yeah, to my mind they've not got it quite right yet.

Oh, and your Beeb reforms are pretty much what I'd suggest too! Yeah, it'd mean I'd be cut adrift but, m'eh, omlettes and eggs. And besides, it'd mean I'd be free to lie around in bed all day watching Sun Ra documentaries from BBC4 which have taken over Flog It's slot in the schedules.

And since Auntie's slashed its factual and news budgets, I think it's fair to say that serious programming's not at the top of its agenda. If Tess Daly ain't on it, it don't mean a thing.

But returning to our original point: I want smut and horror. Rowan Williams wants more religious programming. Why should his request be acknowledged while mine's ignored? Again, I genuinely don't believe that Christianity's a mainstream enough belief to dictate media output. It's as if the Plymouth Brethren demanded BBC programmes dedicated to their beliefs, simply because there's more than one member of their cult in society.

Also, and this might be a bit contentious, isn't it dangerous and misguided in this day and age to promote any world religion uncritically by pandering to its requests? The more forelock-tugging that goes on to appease religion, the more muddied the waters of reason become. Why have we collectively renounced the Enlightenment over the past ten years or so?


Anyway that is where we are up to so far.....

So here's what more I have to say

There is a great danger in democracy that everyone assumes everyone else is just like them and that their life experience is representative of everyone else's. I think Tom has fallen into this seductive trap.

The facts of the matter are that I couldn't find any cinema data on people attending porn or horror cinemas, but if you look at this report from the BBC you will see that cinema attendance overall was estimated at 156 million people in 2006. Or 3m people per week.

This article, suggests at the bottom that porn channels account for 5% of Sky's business which recorded £5bn in sales in 2008. Reading the article I think that they got that number [5%] from working out that there are 55 channels providing adult entertainment on Sky (55 divided by 1000 channels). They also point out that these channels do not publish subscriber numbers. I don't think there is anyone who is seriously claiming that Sky makes most of its money from these channels. Sky has just over 9m subscribers, so its £5bn is about £45 per month per subscriber. Lets to a completely pointless and unrepresentative calculation- assume 5% of Sky's income was from the porn channels (not the millions of people subscribing to films and sports channels), and people were paying £5 per night as the Belfast Telegraph article suggests they can. How many people would that be? The answer is 50m views per year. I think that is totally unrepresentative as a number. But bear it in mind. That is just under 1m people per week.

Ok so now the religious numbers:

In the 2001 census everyone had the chance to tick a box to say what religion they were, they could leave it blank, they could answer no religion or they could write in what religion they were. It was by this process that I believe Jedi became an official religion of the UK, I don't know who the people who wrote that think the joke is on- but anyway.

The results came back like this:

71% of people said they were Christian, or 41,000,000. 15% said they had no religion, and 8% were too stupid or too arrogant or too insulted or whatever to tick the box, we'll assume they have no religion to, if only 'cos there are enough pillocks filling the numbers of the religious out already. That means that about 13,000,000 people have no religion.

Ah you say- but none of them go to church. And you'd be right. Well actually you wouldn't. Here's the result of the most recent survey of church attendance I could find freely available for linking to etc on the internet. Its for England only so its only out of 50,000,000. The other data for films and Sky covers the whole UK. Anyway it shows that 'usual' church attendees number 3m per week or approximately 150m per year.

Anyway Tom you are flat out wrong. The BBC devotes more hours per week providing free advertising to cinemas than it does to broadcasting about religion. I don't think that is particularly justifiable. I'm not here advocating taking off Film 2009 with Jonathon Ross (but you could I wouldn't complain), to make way for more Songs of Praise. But it should be possible for the BBC to seriously engage with an issue as important as religion. It is running away from its statutory obligation to represent for better or worse the established religion of the majority of the population of this country.

While they are at it they could make a programme about both the Plymouth Brethren and the Enlightenment. I'd watch both... probably.... if it had tits and blood spurts in it!


Saturday 7 March 2009

The Bob Ross of Photoshop

So who remembers Bob Ross? I suspect if you didn't grow up with access to American PBS TV or cable or satellite TV in the UK you won't know what I'm on about. Unless you've seen Peep Show... in Peep Show Bob Ross is God. He presented the Joy of Painting, teaching wet on wet technique for oil painting.

Anyway, as everyone knows painting is for dweebs, but what if you paint on your computer? Now, a few years ago I posted somewhere else the hilarious results of an online photoshop competition: future products from Apple Computers. Featuring the iToilet etc.

I've always been fascinated by digital art and now I've discovered this guy called Bert Monroy. I have to say I'm pretty sure what he does isn't art, it may be an art to do it, but I don't think it tells us anything deeper about ourselves or the human condition. Check his stuff out, I really admire it, I would go so far as to say I like it even. I don't think I would buy it and hang it on my wall though. There have been painters through history who have specialised in painting what I would call hyper-real pictures, Mr Monroy is following in their tradition. I think his stuff is fabulously skilled, crazily labour intensive, illustrative and interesting to look at. I just don't think it's art and I can't quite put my finger on why, but I know its got nothing to do with the fact he made it with a computer.

Anyway, Bert has a podcast show on the internet which shows you how to do what he does, using techniques he has perfected in photoshop and illustrator to create photo-realistic images.

In the show I link to above he draws direct comparisons between himself and Bob Ross. When I happened across his show on the web I was immediately pulled in and interested I wondered why and what it was that made him like Bob Ross.

When I was about 5 my grandparents had there bathroom re-tiled. It took the guy several days, everyday I sat outside the bathroom on the landing and watched him, helped him, brought him tiles. I was 5 I don't think I was thinking "one day I might have my own bathroom to tile I better find out how to do this". I think I've just always been fascinated by watching other people work.

I think that's why we/I like watching Bob Ross and Bert Monroy. I don't think its because it's art. Art is impossible to teach someone, you can't show someone how to make art. Bob and Bert don't; they teach us techniques to make pictures. It's a subtle difference but I think its actually more fun to watch.

Tuesday 3 March 2009

Long Time No Post


Not funny I know, but the subject I'm blogging about isn't funny either.

I have no readers to address, but if I had any I would advise all of them to read Mark Easton's blog on the BBC website.

He's the BBC's "home editor" which is not a terribly helpful title. If his appearances on the news and the content of his blog is anything to go by, it means he actually produces interesting, relevant and sometimes obscure journalism.

Mr Easton has been following the "Knife Crime Epidemic" story, presumably as part of his job is clearly 'home affairs'- i.e. covering the Home Office, and therefore Jacqui Smith etc....

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/thereporters/markeaston/2009/02/knife_stats_row_the_plot_thick.html



The graph above (mine from the official data) show the number of people presenting at hospitals in England with a cause of injury recorded as "assault by sharp object" from April 2006 (left) to March 2008 (right). You can see it is a downward trend over the whole period.

Over the two years the number of people presenting per month falls from 500 to 400 or 20%! That's not a particularly valid piece of statistical analysis but it is true. The figure from the NHS IC is far more robust, but impressive none the less: knife crime victims were falling in number at 8% per year.

We'll see what the numbers for the summer of 2008 show.

I am going to try and find a source for column inches devoted to knife crime stories in National Newspapers over the same period. I'd like to do a follow-up post with the two data sets plotted on opposite axes with trend lines; I believe it would make for interesting reading.